Setting boundaries when working in communities

Kat Cosgrove recently had a tweet that hit home:

I haven’t taken any meaningful time off of work in the last 14 months because it feels kinda pointless. I’m just going to be sitting at home thinking about work so I might as well be doing work. Invariably, what I fear is happening while I’m not at work is much worse than what is actually happening. Yay, anxiety!

But also, there’s some guilt when you’re paid to work in a community where a lot of people are volunteering. I don’t feel like I can say “hey, it’s after my work hours” because many in my community only participate outside of their work hours. Add to that the global nature of open source communities and that means that there’s always something to devote my time to.

I think it would be easier to come in as an outsider who is just doing the job for a paycheck. But working in a community where you previously volunteered makes the urge to be around all the time so much stronger. It can be really hard to set boundaries because it feels like you’re devaluing the donated time of others.

It’s a blessing and a curse. I happen to think I’m pretty good at my job (and the fact that I’m anything other than a failure should tell you something) and I know that’s because it’s more than a paycheck to me. But that’s also what makes it so hard to draw boundaries.

My manager (who is very good at reminding me to take care of myself) recently compared it to working for a startup. Everyone pitches in wherever they can, even when it’s not on the job description. That’s incredibly true in open source projects, except there’s no exit. It’s not like you’re working hard now so you’ll get a stupid-large pile of cash when a big company acquires you or you have an IPO. If the project is successful it…keeps being a startup forever.

For now, I’m holding up pretty well. I’m balancing working too much with non-work interests (even if a lot of them look like work to the outside observer). But I wonder how long that can hold. And I wonder how others in a similar position make it work over the long term.

Unlimited vacation policies, burnout, etc.

Recently, my company switched from a traditional vacation model to a minimum vacation model. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, it’s essentially the unlimited vacation model practiced by Netflix and others, with the additional requirement of taking a defined minimum of time off each year. It’s been a bit of an adjustment for me, since I’m used to the traditional model. Vacation was something to be carefully rationed (although at my previous employer, I tended to over-ration). Now it’s simply a matter of making sure my work is getting done and that there’s someone to cover for me when I’m out.

I’m writing this at 41,000 feet on my way to present at a conference [ed note: it is being published the day after it was written]. I’m secretly glad that the WiFi apparently does not work over the open ocean (I presume due to political/regulatory reasons). Now, don’t get me wrong, one of my favorite things to do when I fly is to watch myself on FlightAware, but in this case it’s a blessing to be disconnected. If a WiFi connection were available, it would be much harder to avoid checking my work email.

It took me a year and a half at my job before I convinced myself to turn off email sync after hours. Even though I rarely worked on emails that came in after hours, I felt like it was important that I know what was going on. After several weekends of work due to various projects, I’d had enough. The mental strain became too much. At first, I’d still manually check my mail a time of two, but now I don’t even do that much.

This is due in part to the fact that the main project that was keeping me busy has had most of the kinks worked out and is working pretty well. It also helps that there’s another vendor managing the operations, so I only get brought in when there’s an issue with software we support. Still, there are several customers where I’m the main point of contact, and the idea of being away for a week fills me with a sense of “oh god, what will I come back to on Monday?”

i’ve written before about burnout, but I thought it might be time to revisit the topic. When I wrote previously, I was outgrowing my first professional role. In the years since, burnout has taken a new form for me. Since I wrote the last post, two kids have come into my life. In addition, I’ve gone from a slow-paced academic environment to a small private sector company which claims several Fortune 100 companies as clients. Life is different now, and my perception of burnout has changed.

I don’t necessarily mind working long hours on interesting problems. There are still days when it’s hard to put my pencil down and go home (metaphorically, since I work from a spare bedroom in our house). But now that I have have kids, I’ve come to realize that when I used to feel burnt out, I was really feeling bored. Burnout is more represented by the impact on my family life.

I know I need to take time off, even if it’s just to sit around the house with my family. It’s just hard to do knowing that I’m the first — and sometimes last — line of support. But I’m adjusting (slowly), and I’m part of a great team, so that helps. Maybe one of these days, I’ll be able to check my email at the beginning of the work day without bracing myself.