The lies we tell ourselves

Not long ago, I was catching up with a friend who lives overseas. She works for an environmental non-profit, and she’s a believer in their mission. At some point in our wandering, hour-long conversation, she mentioned how she doesn’t do something she knows she should. But it’s okay because of where she works. It balances out right?

I agreed with her somewhat self-deprecating observation. I tend to be a pragmatic guy, and I understand that we can’t do all the things we should do, even in support of the causes we care about. I said “oh, the lies we tell ourselves.” And maybe it is a lie, but it can be a necessary lie.

My family primarily uses a hybrid car. We recycle heavily and compost our food waste. We keep the house cool in the winter and warm in the summer. We line dry our clothes. it’s okay that we waste energy sometimes, right? Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. But we tell ourselves that it is because otherwise we’d go mad. It’s always possible to do a little bit more.

In a similar vein, I often tell myself lies about work. I got a degree in meteorology partly out of self-interest (storms are cool!) but also because meteorologists do important work that save people’s lives. When I ended up working in IT instead, I told myself that it was better that way. Sure, I could be a reasonably competent forecaster and do my part. But by supporting researchers at the university, I was enabling people much smarter than me to do work that could have a much broader impact.

When I left my departmental sysadmin job for a role on the central research computing group, that impact became even larger. I wasn’t making a direct impact, but there were now hundreds of professors and graduate students working to solve real problems not only in meteorology but in engineering, agriculture, and more.

And then I left for the private sector. While my company was enabling life sciences researchers to develop new pharmaceuticals and study genetics, most of the customers I worked closely with were in financial services. I was helping insurance companies make slightly more money. Now that I work in marketing, I’m even further removed from the work that makes the world a better place.

But I still find ways to convince myself that I’m taking my meager skills and using them to magnify the work of those smarter than me in order to make the world a better place. I have to or else I’ll go mad.

2 thoughts on “The lies we tell ourselves

  1. I never lie to myself. I’m always 100% truthful about everything I do.

    (This is a lie.)

  2. The other missing piece of the puzzle is that the world is not a static place. (Or at least, that’s what I tell myself.) The “right thing” in each point in your life and career might not actually *be* the same thing, and changing what you do might be The Right Thing™.

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