Beonard’s Losers — 2010, Week 5

Due to time constraints, this week’s Beonard’s Losers has not been recorded.

Due to technical problems, this post came out after the games were played. I promise I didn’t change any of my predictions.

Howdy, football fans!  I’d like to say something here, but as a Purdue alum, I’m afraid I’ll tear my ACL.  So let’s take a look at this week’s games.

Ohio State at Illinois

The Chambana tribe’s schedule takes a turn for the difficult this weekend when Jim Tressel’s nuts march into Memorial Stadium.  After a tough game against Northern Illinois, Ron Zook’s squad needs to tighten up if they hope to scalp the number two team in the country.  Unfortunately for them, the Bucs will dominate this game.  Beonard’s loser? Illinois

Northwestern at Minnesota

Pat Fitzgerald’s purple kittens stalk into the Gopher hole on Saturday, looking to hand the gilded rodents their fourth straight loss.  Tim Brewster, meanwhile, really wants a home win to keep his job another week.  The chipmunks have been good at moving the ball through the air, but they won’t be able to match the visitors.  Beonard’s loser? Minnesota

Texas vs Oklahoma

After getting surprised by UCLA last weekend, the cattle are anxious to redeem themselves by hooking the Norman wagon train.  Their resume has been a little weak so far, and they’ve not been able to put up good numbers anyway.  Bob Stoops’ boys have given up more points than they might like, but they’re still outscoring opponents by 10 points per game.  Beonard’s loser? Texas

Wisconsin at Michigan State

The Greeks welcome Coach Dantonio back to the helm, and they’ll need his leadership against Bret Bielma’s Badger boys.  Both of these teams rely on the run attack, so this will be a traditional “three yards and a cloud of dust” Big Televen game.  This game will be won or lost by the defense, and I’ve got to think the rodents will be a bit more spear-resistant.  Beonard’s loser? In a close one, Michigan State

Michigan at Indiana

RichRod has gone from being in danger to leading an undefeated team with the second most rushing yards in the country.  They’ll rush into Basketballtown to try to defile Bill Lynch’s rock.  The Hoopsters are feeling pretty good about their team, lead by the potent passing attack, but they’ll learn a lot about their team this week.  Beonard’s loser? Indiana

Florida at Alabama

It’s a matchup of tough, undefeated SEC teams in Bryant-Denny stadium.  The swamp lizards have scored a lot of points with their balanced attack, but they’re going to have a tough time against the pachyderm defense, which has allowed a football-best 9.8 points per game in the first third of the season.  Combined with a lethal running game, and the home team will be hard to beat.  Beonard’s loser? Florida

Stanford at Oregon

The surprise of the Pac-10 will try to plant some roots in the Autzen Stadium turf on Saturday.  To do that, they’ll have to contain the most offensive team in football, and that’s not just the uniforms.  The quack attack averages a staggering 317 yards per game in rushing alone.  They’ve only allowed 11 points per game so far, but 22 per game in the two games against BCS opponents.  This should be an exciting game to watch, but I have a hard time picking against the Ducks in this.  Beonard’s loser? Stanford

Notre Dame at Boston College

The annual battle for the Pope’s blessings takes place in Alumni Stadium this week.  Brian Kelly could use a few blessings at this point, as his team has suffered three straight losses.  Fortunately for him, the Eagles seem entirely average this year.  In their only game against BCS competition so far, the East Coasters laid an egg.  On Saturday, the yolk will be on them again.  Beonard’s loser? Boston College

Penn State at Iowa

Two teams that have lost to ranked opponents, but haven’t played any other competition face off in Iowa City in a race that could decide who gets to go to Pasadena in January.  Both teams have allowed 12-ish points per game, so it’s a matter of who can get the offense going.  With Linebacker U’s linebackers looking questionable so far, the Hawks will have plenty of room for runs and short passes, so expect to see a lot of that.  Beonard’s Loser? Penn State

Until next week, my friends, try not to be a loser!

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