Beonard's Losers

2009, Week 7

Howdy, football fans! By week 7, if your season isn't going well, you don't have time to waste getting it fixed. A few of our teams this week are facing a long rest of the season if things don't change soon. Of course, there are a few others who like things just the way they are. Of course, who wouldn't want to be in the hunt for a national title? Since yours truly has already won the pigskin prognostication crown, let's take a look at this weeks games.

Cincinnati at South Florida

It's a battle for Big East supremacy on Thursday night when Brian Kelly herds his Cats into Raymond James Stadium. Both teams have had an extra week to prepare for this game, so it should prove to be extra exciting. Neither squad has had any problems getting into the end zone, or keeping opponents out. Jim Leavitt is accustomed to beating higher-ranked teams, though, and when you combine that with home field advantage, that spells trouble for the Queen City team. Beonard's loser, in an upset: Cincinnati

Arkansas at Florida

The Razorbacks shocked the college football world with their upset of Auburn last weekend, so they'll try to see if lightning will strike twice. Unfortunately for Bobby Petrino, it'll take an act of God to get the taste of pig meat out of the Gators' mouths. Beonard's loser: Arkansas

Oklahoma at Texas

This year's Red River Shootout may lack the national title implications of years past, but the Big 12 South race is still wide open. Bob Stoops hopes his injured quarterback is back to Heisman form, and Mack Brown would like to see his signal-caller get the nod this year. The Sooner defense looks particularly stingy, with two shutouts already in the books. On the other hand, Texas hasn't scored less than 34 points all season. Oklahoma has lost every game against ranked opponents this year, and that'll continue another week. Beonard's loser: Oklahoma

Ohio State at Purdue

After a rough trip to Gopher country, Danny Hope will try to get his locomotive repaired in time to take on the Columbus trees. The mood is somber at the West Lafayette switchin' station, and will get even worse after this week. Even at top speed, the iron horse won't be able to crack Jim Tressel's nuts. Beonard's loser: Purdue

Iowa at Wisconsin

Kirk Ferentz takes his high-flying Hawks into Camp Randall Stadium to take on a squad of wounded rodents. Bret Bielma's Badger boys need to bounce back from last week's loss if they want to remain competitive in the conference, and that's just what they'll do. The avians are good at keeping the end zone clear, but the cheese eaters will send them home in a tail spin. Beonard's loser, in an upset: Iowa

Northwestern at Michigan State

Mark Dantonio leads his army against the visiting felines in an attempt to get a third straight win and salvage what looked to be a rough season. Pat Fitzgerald has other ideas, and wouldn't mind turning East Lansing into his own personal litter box. This is the best the Evanston squad has looked in a few years, and they'll give the spear-toters a game. Unfortunately for the purple faithful, it won't quite be enough. Beonard's loser: Northwestern

Delaware State at Michigan

The Hornets buzz their way into the Big House hoping to put a stinger into the Wolverines. But even though Michigan is still rebuilding, no team that lost Bethune-Cookman will get a win in Ann Arbor. Beonard's loser: Delaware State

USC at Notre Dame

Charlie Weis has never beaten USC, and the domers will try to fix that when the Trojans come into the Indiana Vatican on Saturday. Pete Carroll's squad is young on offense, but the defense has held teams to 16 points or less in each of their first five games. It will be a tough matchup, but at the end, the home team gets their 7th consecutive loss to a ranked opponent. Beonard's loser, in a close one: USC

Minnesota at Penn State

After benefitting from Purdue's most recent collapse, the gilded rodents hit the road in search of a win in Happy Valley. The conference-leading feline defense will be tasked with holding back the Big Ten's worst total offense, so if Tim Brewster's squad can't keep it going in the air, it will be a long tunnel back to Minneapolis. Beonard's loser: Minnesota

Virginia Tech at Georgia Tech

The Hokies head into Bobby Dodd Stadium on Saturday hoping to hand the wasps their first home loss and take control of the ACC Coastal. Both teams are used to having their way with opposing defenses, but Paul Johnson's squad has given up too many points. Beonard's loser: Georgia Tech

Illinois at Indiana

The Big Televen's pillow fight of the week takes place Saturday evening in Bloomington, as Ron Zook's tribe takes on the canal diggers. Both of these teams are underperforming, but nobody's job is in more danger right now than the Illini Chief. If the natives can't scalp Bill Lynch's team, then he might need to start looking for a new wigwam. Beonard's loser: Illinois

South Carolina at Alabama

Alabama faces their third ranked opponent of the season when Steve Spurrier's hens strut into Bryant-Denny Stadium. Two of the nation's top defenses will be on the field, so this could end up being a very low-scoring game. The fowl have already hen-pecked one team out of the top 5, and they'd like to do it again against Nick Saban. But the Tide have some fight of their own, and national title hopes to protect. Beonard's loser: South Carolina

Okay, friends. I hope you enjoy watching all my predictions come true this weekend. Come back here next week when we'll do it all over again.

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