Beonard's Losers
Howdy, football fans! Week 5 was a bit calmer, with the result that there was a lot less shuffling going on in the rankings. That works out well for the ranked teams, but it puts a few coaches and quarterbacks into hot water. But nothing could be hotter than this week's games.
Nebraska at Missouri
After a 55-0 drubbing of Louisiana Monroe, the Cornhuskers head into Columbus in the hopes of detassling some Tigers. Gary Pinkel's squad hasn't faced a decent team yet, and Nebraska's only legitimate competition was a close loss to Virginia Tech, so both teams are a bit untested. The 'Huskers have been more stingy with giving up points, and that will help them pluck out a few whsikers on Thursday night. Beonard's loser: Missouri
Eastern Illinois at Penn State
A week after defeating one Illinois team, the Nittany Kittens face another. This time, the Panthers will stalk into State College. This catfight doesn't even seem fair, though. There's no likely outcome that will take the Happy out of the Valley. Beonard's loser: Eastern Illinois
Purdue at Minnesota
The West Lafayette locomotive has been derailed for so long that the tracks are starting to rust. Danny Hope may have to carry the train up to Minnesota when his squad faces the gilded rodents and the possibility of a 5-game losing streak. This game is entirely winnable for both teams, but one team beat Northwestern by 11 on the road, and the other lost to them at home. Beonard's loser: Purdue
Miami (OH) at Northwestern
The felines are at the top of the scratchin' post after completely shutting down Purdue for the last 32:20. That puts them at the perfect altitude for intercepting the flock of birds flying in to Evanston on Saturday. The raptors haven't won a game yet, and haven't even come close. They should provide a nutritious meal for Pat Fitzgerald's herd. Beonard's loser: Miami (OH)
Michigan State at Illinois
For the first time since the Johnson administration, Sparty has defeated Michigan twice in a row, so you know they'll be in high spirits when they head into Chambana to face Ron Zook's beleaguered tribe. The natives have lost every game they've played against top-conference opponents, allowing at least 30 points in each of those while never scoring more than 17. `This game should be a great opportunity for Mark Dantonio's warriors to get their first winning streak of the season. Beonard's loser: Illinois
Alabama at Mississippi
Nick Saban's Alabama slammers crash into Oxford on Saturday ready to sweep away Ole Miss. But Houston Nutt and company have other ideas. The Rebels are eager to test their stout defense against the potent 'Bama offense, which hasn't faced much in the way of a challenge so far. The teams Ole Miss have beaten are a combined 5-9, so while it is likely that someone will beat Alabama this season, it probably won't be this weekend. Beonard's loser: Mississippi
Wisconsin at Ohio State
After a close victory in Minneapolis, Bret Bielma brings his Badger boys into Buckeye town to take on Jim Tressel's nuts. The cheese-eaters have survived a few close calls to become one of the last two undefeated teams in the Big Televen. However, they face a Columbus team which has outscored opponents 101-14 since their loss to USC. Ol' Sweatervest's defense has been solid in conference play, and it looks like the weasels will get choke on the acorns. Beonard's loser: Wisconsin
Indiana at Virginia
A hapless Cavalier squad returns to Scott Stadium after a two-game road trip which ended with Virginia's first win of the season. On Saturday, they'll host a basketball team that is starting to see their hopes for a sucessful season diminish. Fortunately for Bill Lynch and company, this road trip should be full of good times and headless horsemen. Beonard's loser: Virginia
Florida at LSU
This weekend's marquee matchup brings Urbanball into Tiger stadium for what could be a preview of the SEC title game. The Gainesville crocs have had a week off to rest up and prepare for the attack the bayou bengals will bring. Les Miles's tabbies proved last week that they can win against real competition, and they'll have several more chances to prove it this season. That is fortunate, because they'll be gatorbait on Saturday. Beonard's loser: LSU
Michigan at Iowa
After a close loss to Sparty last week, Rich Rod's road rage continues. The Wolverines make a trip to Kinnick Stadium to take on a high-flying flock of Hawkeyes. The avians are one of two teams left unblemished in the conference, and they have every intention of keeping it that way. This game will come down to the talented Michigan offense against the tough Iowa defense. There's always something in the air in Iowa, but this week it smells like an upset. Beonard's loser, in an upset: Iowa
Okay friends, that's enough for this week. Tune in again next week when I'll have another list of losers.