Beonard's Losers

2009, Week 2


Howdy, football fans. This is only the second week of the college football season, and already things have gotten interesting. Many teams struggled against teams they had no business struggling against, although Oklahoma has a good excuse. Don't expect the BCS committee to care at the end of the season, though. The most interesting, and disgusting, part of last week's action happened after Oregon lost to Boise State. Punching an opponent is never the right response, and I can only hope that everyone involved has learned their lessons. So now let's take a look at this week's games.

Clemson at Georgia Tech

After solidly handling the powerhouse that is Middle Tennesee State, Swinney's kitties head to Grant Stadium to take on their rival mud daubers. They're all abuzz in Atlanta about the possibility of another ACC title, and Paul Johnson doesn't want his team to get swatted early. The Tigers will pounce, but they'll end up with stingers in their paws. Beonard's loser: Clemson

Syracuse at Penn State

After finding a few Gopher holes in their home turf, the Orange look forward to getting on the road. Unfortunately for them, their first stop is straight into Happy Valley. Joe Pa's Pennsylvania felines mauled Akron last weekend, and they're looking for another kill. The New Yorkers will be a tough opponent, but they won't make it out of Beaver Stadium alive. Beonard's loser: Syracuse

Eastern Michigan at Northwestern

Starting out the season with a loss to Army is never a good sign, and things don't seem to be looking any better for Eastern Michigan when they fly into Evanston on Saturday. The purple pouncers scored 21 first-quarter points last week, a feat they'd like to repeat. Chances are the Eagles will have their wings clipped early, and most of the game will just be a formality. Beonard's loser: Eastern Michigan

Western Michigan at Indiana

After a painful loss in Ann Arbor last weekend, the Broncos get a second crack at the Big Ten when they gallop into Basketball town to face the Hoosiers. Bill Lynch's squad could barely get it done against a 1-AA opponent, so they might have their hands full trying to tame these horses. Indiana has won six straight season openers, but they generally fall apart after that. Beonard's loser: Indiana

Central Michigan at Michigan State

In our final "Directional Michigan at Big Ten" game this week, the Chippewas head into East Lansning to face Mark Dantonio's spear throwers. The green and white army lit up the scoreboard last week, and they should have no trouble with their cousins from Mount Pleasant, so long as they focus on this game and not next week's trip to South Bend. Beonard's loser: Central Michigan

Fresno State at Wisconsin

The fine folks in Madison survived a bit of a scare last week, and they're hoping the Badgers play better when the Fresno State Bulldogs come into Camp Randall Stadium. The pups really gave UC Davis a lickin' last weekend, but they'll find that rodents can be a bit tougher than Aggies. Beonard's loser: Fresno State

Iowa at Iowa State

Speaking of scares, the bird brethren nearly got their wings clipped against Northern Illinois last weekend. They'll need to fly a lot straighter if the hope to get a win in Ames. Iowa hasn't won the Cy-Hawk trophy on the road since 2003, and if they want to do it this year, they'll need to be at their best. Beonard's loser, in a close one: Iowa State

Notre Dame at Michigan

Two of the most embattled coaches in all of football face off Saturday afternoon in the Big House. This will be the first critical test for RichRod as he tries to prove he's turning the Wolverine program around. Meanwhile, Charlie Weis is stocking up on the Holy Water in the hopes he'll be blessed with a BCS bowl. This will be an exciting game to watch, but I have to come down on the side of the home team. Beonard's loser, in a close one: Notre Dame

Illinois State at Illinois

Ron Zook's tribe had the unfortunate honor of being the only Big Televen team to lose last week (and made me look bad in the process). This week they'll have a much more favorable opponent when the Redbirds fly in from Normal. State is flying low after being de-feathered by Panthers last week, and the home team's arrows will have no problem finding their mark. Beonard's loser: Illinois State

USC at Ohio State

Jim Tressel's nuts were crushed last year in Los Angeles, so they'll welcome a chance to get some revenge against the Trojans. Pete Carroll's team is a little weaker than in years past, so the stars seem to be aligned for the Bucs, but if they couldn't handle Navy last week, they might not be as strong as they think. Folks in Columbus know that a win on Saturday will go a long way toward restoring respect to the program and the conference, and they'll do their best to get it. Beonard's loser: USC

Purdue at Oregon

Chip Kelly did not get off to a good start in his first season as the lead Duck, and there are some in Eugene that suggest he doesn't have control of his flock. One indication will be how well they handle the locomotive coming in to Autzen Stadium on Saturday night. Last year it took two overtimes to de-rail an inferior Purdue team in West Lafayette. If last week's drama is behind the quackers, they'll be flying high. If not, they might find themselves covered in coal dust. Beonard's loser: Purdue

Okay, friends, that's all the genius I can whip up this week. Stop in again next week for another big helpin' of losers.

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