Beonard's Losers

2008, Week 6

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Howdy, football fans. Last week was humbling for many ranked teams, and to yours truly, too. My friend Kevin has convinced me to hop aboard the Northwestern bandwagon, which I'll do with great glee. As for the other victors last week, I like you too. Now let's take a look at this week's games.

Pittsburgh at South Florida
The other Pennsylvania kittens have recovered from an opening-week loss to Bowling Green, but they'll face their first ranked opponent when they head into Raymond James Stadium. Jim Leavitt's bovine are still largely un-tested, and will need to prove to voters that they've earned their top-10 ranking. The felines did fine in New York, but they won't in Tampa. Beonard's loser: Pittsburgh

Oregon State at Utah
Mike Riley's dam-builders set the rankings all akimbo last week when they toppled the Trojans. On Thursday, they'll try to ruin Kyle Wittingham's season when they head to Salt Lake City. The Utes are anglin' for a BCS bowl, and they won't let any west-coast Beavers dam up their hopes. Beonard's loser: Oregon State

Penn State at Purdue
The locomotive got derailed in the Indiana Vatican last week, and this game will define their season. If they can't play well against the Nittany mewers, they'll have a long season ahead of them. Joe Pa's pride is now the leading candidate for the Big Ten championship, and they'll put another paw forward on Saturday. Beonard's loser: Purdue

Iowa at Michigan State
The woes continue for Kirk Ferentz and company when the birds fly into Spartan Stadium. The East Lansing spear-toters have been darn-near untouchable on their home turf this season. With a Heisman contender in the home team's backfield, the Hawkeyes will be plucked. Beonard's loser: Iowa

Indiana at Minnesota
The dominant squad we saw defending the rock have been exposed as imposters in the past two weeks, and they'll get a chance to redeem themselves when they head north to face Tim Brewster's rodents. The gilded ones have turned themselves around from last season, and will not be content to end up at the bottom of the barrel again. The Twin Cities crowd hasn't seen a loss in the Metrodome this season, and that streak will last at least another week. Beonard's loser: Indiana

Florida at Arkansas
When Ole Miss held off the Gainesville crocs, eyebrows perked up in Fayetteville. Unfortunately, that just means they'll be able to see the hurt that Urban Meyer will put on the hogs. Bobby Petrino hasn't had much luck in his return to college football, and one more week won't cure anything. Beonard's loser: Arkansas

Kansas at Iowa State
The Lawrence wingers need to show that they can win a game against legitimate competition -- and no, Sam Houston State doesn't count. On Saturday, they'll fly into Ames while trying to keep from getting sucked into a tornado. There's a tornado warning for Jack Trice Stadium, but it's the Cyclones who need to take cover. Beonard's loser: Iowa State

Stanford at Notre Dame
The papal pigskin squad isn't as good as they looked last week, but they've kept the Indiana Vatican holy so far this season. The California tree got a win over Oregon State, which is more impressive than it looked, but nothing else is worth note. They'll try to plant themselves in South Bend turf, but the Holy Water will keep it from taking root. Beonard's loser: Stanford

Kentucky at Alabama
'Bama's stunner over the Dawgs shot them to the number two spot for this week. Now they'll have to defend themselves against the Lexington felines. The cats have been impressive, but not against impressive opponents. A win this week would do wonders for Rich Brooks and company, but they'll end up with wet fur. Beonard's loser: Kentucky

Illinois at Michigan
A surprise upset of top-10 Wisconsin last week saved the spirits of the fine folk in Ann Arbor, but will it save the season? We'll find out when Chief Ron Zook leads his tribe into the Big House. The redskins haven't been able to improve on last year's surprise performance, and they'll need to get some Wolverine pelts if they want to salvage the season. This game will be all about the Illinois offense against the Michigan defense, and Beonard's loser, in a close one: Illinois

Auburn at Vanderbilt
The Commodores have benefitted from the rankings melee, rising into the top-25. They'll defend their rankings when one-loss Auburn comes into Vanderbilt Stadium. The 'Dores will keep the SEC East lead if they can pull out a victory, but the Tiger defense will be too ferocious for them to handle. Beonard's loser: Vanderbilt

Oregon at USC
Once again, Pete Carroll found himself on the losing end of a Pac-10 upset. Will it keep the Trojans out of the National Championship for another year? If the quackers have anything to say about it: yes. Mike Bellotti has lead his flock to victories over middling teams, but USC will be a whole new test. Water rolls off a duck's back, but horses don't. Beonard's loser: Oregon

Ohio State at Wisconsin
Bret Bielma barely believed his eyes when his Badger boys got demolished by Michigan in the fourth quarter. The cheeseheads will try to redeem themselves when Jim Tressel's nuts head into Camp Randall Stadium. Sweater Vest has put his team back on track after a blowout in Los Angeles, and this game may wind up being the battle for second place in the Big Televen. Beonard's loser, in a close one: Wisconsin

Missouri at Nebraska
The Mizzou cats are clawing their way toward the National Championship game and they'll need to make it through the Nebraska cornfield on Saturday. Nebraska hasn't faced anyone of consequence so far, and when the dust has settled, the Huskers will be shucked. Beonard's loser: Nebraska

Well fans, that's all I have for you this week. I may or not have a show for you next week, you'll just have to tune in to find out.

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