Howdy football fans. As I record this, one game is already underway. You'll have to forgive me, but my paying gig stole my evenings this week. So before we get any further into tonight's matchup, let's take a look at this week's games.
USC at Oregon State
After a week off, Pete Carroll takes his Trojans back on the road on Thursday. Mike Riley will have his Beavers ready, but they've lost to ranked teams and to conference teams so far, so it's a bit of a reach to think they'd be able to beat a ranked conference opponent. The Beavers will be aware of the dangers, but they'll still wheel the horse inside the gates of Corvallis. Beonard's loser: Oregon State
Minnesota at Ohio State
Tim Brewster has really turned his rodent squad around, but the roughest road schedule in the Big Ten kicks off Saturday when he heads into the Horseshoe to take on Sweater Vest and his Bucs. If the frozen four-leggers were squirrels, they'd have a chance at cracking the nuts. Instead, the northerners will have to tunnel back home. Beonard's loser: Minnesota
Michigan State and Indiana
The East Lansing spear-toters have already played over seven consecutive quarters of shutout football this year, so they'll be ready to take on the Hoosiers' sometimes-explosive offense. The basketball boys will need to re-tool their defense if they expect to defend the rock though, and Mark Dantonio's offense is anything but easily intimidated. Beonard's loser: Indiana
Kent State at Ball State
Ball State's first win over a BCS school was very bittersweet, but they should be able to skate by the Golden Flashes. The Kent kiddies have been pretty dismal so far, and there's nothing to suggest that they'll be able to zap the Cardinals out of the sky. Beonard's loser: Kent State
Northwestern at Iowa
After a heartbreaking loss to Pitt last weekend, Kirk Ferentz and his Iowa birds will welcome Pat Fitzgerald's kittens to the pink locker room at Kinnick Stadium. The Evanston kitties have outplayed their opponents so far, but everything changes this weekend. The cats will have their claws sharp, but they'll have nothing to protect themselves from the beaks of the home team. Beonard's loser: Northwestern
Arkansas at Texas
This game was supposed to be played two weeks ago, but Hurricane Ike had other ideas. Unfortunately for the Ozark piggies, the game has to be played eventually. The Lone Star cattle have been the most quiet team in the top 10, despite an average margin of victory of nearly 40 points so far. This weekend will give them a chance to get some attention when they lock horns with Arkansas, and it'll be the boars who get gored. Beonard's loser: Arkansas
Wisconsin at Michigan
The worst season in Ann Arbor's recent memory gets worse on Saturday when Bret Bielma's Badger boys come into town. RichRod has seen some difficulty getting his team molded to his plan, and the cheeseheads aren't known for being gentle on their opponents. In other years, this is a big game, but this year this is just a warmup for Wisconsin before they face the Buckeyes next week. Beonard's loser: Michigan
Tennessee at Auburn
The Tigers are one of the five SEC teams in the top 10. The Vols are decidedly not. After getting manhandled by the Gators last weekend, Phillip Fulmer isn't anxious to play against another group of carnivores. After losing to their fellow Tigers last weekend, Auburn is looking to get revenge, and Tennessee has volunteered to be the whipping boy. Beonard's loser: Tennessee
Purdue at Notre Dame
Joe Tiller just barely got his locomotive on track last week and he'll look to clear the tracks in the Indiana Vatican. The Papal pigskinners were flat-footed against Michigan State, and they'll need to do better against their next Big Televen opponent. The bartenders have had a rough time playing a full 60 minutes, but if they can get off to a good start, the potato farmers won't be able to catch up. Beonard's loser, in a close one: Notre Dame
Oregon at Washington State
After getting stampeded last week, Mike Bellotti brings his quack attack into Martin Stadium on Saturday afternoon. Paul Wulff has had a rough start as the leader of the mountain lion pack and he won't have much of an answer when the ducks poop all over Pullman. Beonard's loser: Washington State
TCU at Oklahoma
The Horned Frogs have clobbered opponents so far, so they'll be in for a surprise when they roll into Norman. The Sooners have been equally dominant and they'll make quick work of the visiting amphibians. Beonard's loser: TCU
Alabama at Georgia
Only one of these SEC teams can remain undefeated. They both have stiff competition in their divisions, so this is a game that defines "must-win." A lot of people feel the Dawgs are overrated, and when the Tide rolls into Athens, they may get what they're looking for. The Georgia defense has been a little too generous, and that'll make the difference on Saturday. Beonard's loser, in an upset: Georgia
Illinois at Penn State
Rumors about that this is Joe Paterno's last year and he's certainly looking for one more conference championship. The first test will come when Ron Zook's tribe makes their way into Happy Valley. The Nittany kitties have been positively untouchable so far. The Illini have allowed double-digits in every game so far, and that just won't work against the blue and white. Beonard's loser: Illinois
That's all I've got for you this week. Tune in again next week when I'll have another batch of on-time and well-recorded losers.