Beonard's Losers

2007, Week 12

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Howdy, football fans. It seems I need to try a little harder. For the first time since the beginning of Beonard's Losers, I missed more games than I got right. What's sad, though, is the fact that my two and seven record last week is still better than Notre Dame's record this season. Still, this seems to be the season for second chances. Louisiana State is back atop the BCS standings, and Beonard is making more pigskin prognostications.

Oregon at Arizona
The Wildcats have won their last two games, turning an abysmal season into a mediocre one. On Thursday, they'll pay host to a flock of Ducks. In the wild, felines have no problem taking on fowl, but on the gridiron, the Ducks are nearly unstoppable. Beonard's Loser: Arizona

Ohio State at Michigan
Jim Tressel's nuts may be all but out of the national title race, but they still have a Rose Bowl to play for. On Saturday, they'll travel up to Ann Arbor to take on a pack of wounded Wolverines. Lloyd Carr didn't have the benefit of two key seniors last week, and if he wants a chance to redeem last year's fiasco in Pasedena, he'll need them at 110%. Just like last year, this game decides who wins the Big Ten, and just like last year the winner will be wearing a sweater vest. Beonard's Loser: Michigan

Missouri at Kansas State
After an upset over Texas in week four, the cats have been more mild than wild, especially after getting drubbed by a downright bad Nebraska team. The Tigers aspire to a Big Twelve North win, and there's not much K-State can do to derail them. Beonard's Loser: Kansas State

Kentucky at Georgia
Kentucky looked to be the Cinderella team in a year of football oddities, but now that Rich Brooks' squad sits in the middle of the SEC East, the buzz has died down. On Saturday, the cats will stalk into Athens to repeat last year's upset of the pups. Unfortunately for them, the canines are three and oh against ranked opponents this year, and the kittens should be put down quickly. Beonard's Loser: Kentucky

Northwestern at Illinois
The Chambana tribe finish out their season at home after what could very well be the biggest road win in Illini history. Their upstate rivals will come into town fresh off a big win of their own. But beating Indiana isn't quite the same as beating Ohio State, and the visiting felines will find their pelts hanging from Ron Zook's teepee. Beonard's Loser: Northwestern

Duke at Notre Dame
Usually, the Blue Devils don't stand much of a chance in the Indiana Vatican. In 2007, though, all rules are off, and Charlie Weis will need to do a lot of bead jiggling to exorcise these demons. It is hard to decide who is more awful. Either way, one team will get an undeserved win. Touchdown Jesus has his arms upstreched, and He's signalling a Catholic victory. Beonard's Loser: Duke

Wisconsin at Minnesota
If there's anything positive for the rodent faithful to take away from this game, it is this: after Saturday, the season is over. Beonard's Loser: Minnesota

Purdue at Indiana
There's a rumble in West Lafayette, but it's not the sound of a speeding locomotive. If the choo-choo can't clear the tracks in basketball town on Saturday, the demand for Joe Tiller's dismissal will be deafening. After the loss of a great coach, the Hoosiers need this win to guarantee a bowl game, and against their big rivals, you can expect Bill Lynch and company to defend the rock. Beonard's Loser: Purdue

Penn State at Michigan State
Mark Dantonio showed the East Lansing faithful that the John L. Smith days are over for good. The spear toters will try to close their season on a high note when JoePa's kitties prowl into Spartan Stadium. Their shields are ready, and their spears are sharp, but the felines will roar to victory. Beonard's Loser: Michigan State

California at Washington
The Bears were a lock for the top spot in the nation, until they dropped four of their last five. Saturday evening, they'll head north to Husky Stadium, where Ty Willingham and his pups will be waiting. The canines may be guaranteed a losing season, but their schedule is rebarkable. The dogs will bark and howl, but they'll end up with their tails between their legs. Beonard's Loser:Washington

West Virginia at Cincinnati
It's bad enough for Rich Rodriguez that his team is ranked in the unlucky fifth place, but he has to lead them into Nippert Stadium to face a Cincy squad that is undefeated against ranked opponents this year. If they win out, the cats should be the Big East champions, an honor that was highly unlikely at the beginning of the year. Both of these teams rack up many more points than they allow, so this should be a quality matchup. But the Mountaineers had better bring along some trail mix, because it is going to be a long ride home. Beonard's Loser, in an upset: West Virginia

Louisville at South Florida
It may have taken them two months, but the Derby City fowl finally learned how to play a little bit of defense. They'll need it when they fly into the Bulls' pen on Saturday. The cattle have racked up the points in this rodeo, and it will be hard for the Cardinals to hold on. Expect to see a lot of smiling faces in Tampa on Saturday night. Beonard's Loser: Louisville

Okay, friends. That's how this week looks. Tune in again next week when I'll have more losers for you.

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