Taylor Swift’s twelfth studio album came out last week and I know you’re all wondering what a no-talent man has to say about the work of one of the most successful women in music history. My wife and I stayed up to stream it right at midnight, and I’ve listened to it probably two dozen times since.
The Life of a Showgirl is a departure from the “coffee shop” vibe of several of Swift’s recent albums (specifically folklore, evermore, and The Tortured Poets Department). It’s not the lyrical showcase that The Tortured Poets Department was, but it is fun. I’ve read a few professional critic pieces which are…not exactly laudatory…and I’m not sure that’s fair. Overall, this album is not at the top of my Taylor Swift albums rankings; it’s somewhere in the middle. But it’s also remarkably consistent. There aren’t any songs that I’d consider clankers. I’m not sure which, if any, will be added to my favorites playlist, but several of them are solid contenders.
Track-by-track
“The Fate of Ophelia” leads off the album with a catchy bass line. I interpret the lyrics to be about her fiancé, but I’ve seen some saying it’s about the fan support that helped her get through the breakup that fueled much of The Tortured Poets Department. In any case, it’s really fun to listen to, and the video is enjoyable, too — I particularly appreciate that each single is single-take and the effects are practical instead of CGI. If Taylor wants to retire from music, I’d be interested to see her direct a feature film.
Up next is “Elizabeth Taylor.” I don’t have much to say about this one. It was the early leader for favorite track on the album, but it’s slipped a bit since. Liz gives way to “Opalite”, which is probably my favorite track on the album. It goes from subdued to exuberant and back in a way that makes it great to sing along to.
“Father Figure” was not what I expected when the track listing was announced. Instead, it’s a mafia-esque tale of a protégée turning against their benefactor. Like “Vigilante Shit”, it’s a dark tale of revenge. Unlike “Vigilante Shit”, it involves Taylor talking about the size of her dick.
The fifth track on Swift’s albums tend to be among her most heartbreaking. “Eldest Daughter” is not that. It’s a sad tune, but it doesn’t carry the pain of “Dear John”, “All Too Well”, or “So Long, London.” The sadder song, albeit with a much peppier sound, is the next track. “Ruin The Friendship” is a lament for a road not taken. I’m not one to linger on the things that could have been, but even I found my heart catching at this.
“Actually Romantic” is apparently a diss track. To be frank, I’m over that genre. Taylor Swift has more money than God and is no longer the underdog in any fight. Despite that, I really like this song. It sounds a lot like Olivia Rodrigo (complimentary).
The Internet has some strong opinions about “Wi$h Li$t”. Some claim that because Taylor sings about wanting to be married and have kids that she’s secretly a conservative tradwife. The only inanity of that interpretation is only topped by the people who say the “whole block looking like [Travis]” line is clearly white supremacist. The Internet makes me tired. Anyway, this song is Just Fine™.
Do you want to know about Travis Kelce’s penis? If not, you’re out of luck. “Wood” has about as many euphemisms as it’s possible to fit into a single song. If you told me that Sabrina Carpenter collaborated on a song but didn’t tell me which one, I’d have assumed “Wood”. It’s as unapologetically horny as anything Carpenter has released with a very Jackson Five sound. I’m happy for Taylor and Travis.
“CANCELLED!” is a clear sign that Swift is secretly British. Spelling aside, this is a similar vibe to “Father Figure.” It’s followed by “Honey”, which is — for reasons I can’t explain — the most forgettable song for me. It’s a good pop song but it doesn’t stick in my head.
Sabrina Carpenter makes her appearance on the title track. “The Life of a Showgirl” closes the album on a strong note. It’s in the “Jukebox Hero” vein of young person idolizes a performer and then grows up to be a star in their own right.
The future
Have we reached Peak Taylor Swift? Lyrically, The Life of a Showgirl is a big step back from the growth we’ve seen over her career. It’s quite possible that The Tortured Poets Department and the Eras Tour will end up being the peak of her career. There’s nothing wrong with that, every artist has to peak at some point. Swift has been turning out great music and increasing in popularity for nearly two decades now. Very few artists can say the same.
If this is the peak, then it’s not because she’s no longer capable of growth. The peak will come because of two things. The first is that she’s pretty far removed from having anything like a normal life. That makes it harder to write in a way that will resonate with the masses. Also, she’s about to get married and — despite the fact that it’s been used to malign her unfairly — some of her best work has come from heartbreak. Art is like that. So will she continue to have things to say?
Also, the album variants have reached new heights (heh). Every day in the past week, I’ve been notified of a new album variant that has a couple of unique tracks of songwriting memos or acoustic versions. It’s kind of ridiculous. Taylor Swift is a billionaire and perhaps the artist with the most say over what they release in the entire history of art. Release the version you wanted to make and leave the fans’s wallets alone.
There have been rumors that Taylor will give up music to settle down into married life. That sounds fake (especially since Taylor said “how dare you suggest such a thing?”). I wouldn’t be surprised if she takes a little time to just rest and roll around in her Scrooge McDuck money bin with her large-penised husband. Whatever comes next, I would really like to hear a straight rock album. She’s flirted with the genre some, and I bet she could shred if she wanted to.
